Home, Sweet Home
by Yosei Ranbu
Summary: Final Fantasy V. It's been nearly a year since Bartz was lost to the Void, and Faris struggles with his absence.


Faris wakes up in a cold sweat. She stares at the ceiling of her cabin for a moment, acutely aware of _his_ absence, before blinking the tears away from her eyes and disentangling herself from the sheets. She blearily staggers over to a table, picks up a bottle of rum, then curses under her breath when she realizes it's empty. She sets it down, throws on her captain's attire, then kicks open the door, not as a result of her frustration over the dream she had just experienced (a vision of a life now beyond her reach), but because it was something she did every day to remind those bastards who was boss. She does kick a bit harder than she usually does, though.

It's been nearly a year since the defeat of Exdeath. The world has been saved, but Faris feels little joy in this fact; the cost was something she would have been unwilling to pay if she had known it ahead of time. Bartz is gone, swallowed up by the receding Void after having been mortally wounded by a dying Exdeath. She feels like she's had her heart torn out, leaving an overwhelming emptiness that makes the Void pale in comparison.

Bartz was the first person she ever opened up to. To open oneself up had been to make oneself vulnerable, and a pirate captain simply didn't do that sort of thing. To show vulnerability was to show weakness. To show weakness was to promote mutiny. To promote mutiny... Well, that didn't bear much thinking about for a young girl who had been masquerading as a male in a position of power.

But with Bartz, it had been different. He was the most free-spirited person she had ever met, constantly upbeat and optimistic almost (almost) to the point of naivety. Faris had honestly hated him the first time they had met; she had taken him for a blowhard who understood nothing of the world. The fact that he had been attempting to commandeer her ship at the time didn't help matters. If Bartz's carefree attitude had been infallible, her opinion of him might not have changed. However, he was just as human as the rest of them. Just as he fought and laughed freely, he grieved freely, and even raged freely. Over time, Faris came to respect him, trust him; admire him, even. She couldn't help but think that the Wind Crystal had never before chosen a more suitable representative.

* * *

She can still remember the night he introduced her to his mother's tombstone. He hadn't been crying then (that had happened earlier in the day when he opened that musicbox); he had just had a muted melancholy about him as he added his father's name to the epitaph. And when he held her to help ease her own father-related grief, it had felt natural, even though a scant month ago she would have slugged him for it.

When her father truly died, he had been there for her to cry in his arms. Thinking back on it later, Faris had realized that it wasn't that she had fallen in love with Bartz because of him being there for her, but rather that she wouldn't have allowed him to be there for her in the first place if she hadn't already been in love with him. Although she has a fair idea of when she realized it, Faris still isn't sure when exactly she fell in love with Bartz. It might've been during one of their many battles, or upon seeing the look of triumph on his face when he finally strang together an actual song on a piano. Regardless, it had happened.

However, she never said a word about it before the merging of the worlds. The much more pressing issue of Exdeath had been the excuse she gave herself, but deep down she knew she was terrified of being rejected, of being found wanting and being abandoned once more.

She had considered asking Galuf for advice on the issue. Though she had never said as much to him while he was alive, Faris had looked up to the old king as a father figure. His loss had been nearly as hard on her as that of her true father, and for a third time, Bartz had been there to console her.

Her inability to make the first move would later come back to bite her. At the celebratory ball commemorating the return of the princesses of Tycoon, Bartz had slipped out without saying goodbye (though she was certain he had at least tried). Faris had felt fear growing in her belly then; with their task complete, would Bartz simply depart from her life, never to be seen again? She had snuck away from the festivities, tearing off that abominable dress and returning to her much preferred pirate's garb. Faris had chased after Bartz, afraid that she wouldn't be able to catch up to his damn bird. So when she had reached a massive pitfall in the middle of the path, she had had to stare at it for a few moments. It was laughable how quickly Bartz and Krile had gotten themselves into a bind the instant the two of them were left to their own devices.

Naturally, she had to mess with Bartz a little for running off like that.

Having extracted a promise to never leave her behind again from Bartz, Faris had finally pulled Krile and him out of the hole. Bartz had laughed in good nature at the idea of being a princess not suiting Faris and slung his arm around her shoulder amiably. Flustered, Faris had thrown him off, though she managed to keep up the appearance of unshaken bravado. Still, a question was eating away at her.

 _"Say, Bartz? Why'd you leave me behind?"_

He had blinked, then scratched his cheek in embarrassment. _"Well... It's just that, you were finally home again, and I didn't think I had the right to drag you away from that."_

" _Hmph. I don't recall makin' you my custodian. It's my decision to be makin', so at least give me the choice!"_

" _Sorry. I guess I was afraid that I didn't have much to offer in comparison to the royal life."_

She had grinned. " _What? You're loads more fun that those stodgy old nobles. I'd have hung myself with that damn dress 'fore the week was out if I'd had to stay there._ "

 _"That would have been a shame. You did look absolutely stunning in that dress, after all. ...Hmm? Faris? Hey, why are you walking away so fast? It'll be faster if we ride Boko! Hey, Faris!"_

* * *

Although Bartz had then said that she looked beautiful in a dress, he would never once afterward request she put one on for him, knowing how uncomfortable it would make her. Bartz accepted her as she was, and Faris never felt like she had to put up a facade around him. It was one of the things that she loved about him.

* * *

Unlike Bartz and Krile, Faris hadn't been all that interested in why the lot of them had wound up back in the First World, but she was more than happy to have another adventure to go on, even if it only involved tracking down some crusty old sage.

And then Exdeath had returned, dragging Tycoon Castle into the Void, and Lena most likely along with it. Faris had nearly shattered then and there, sinking to her knees and clutching herself as she trembled. She couldn't lose her sister, she just couldn't.

" _I can't... I'll be all alone again... I can't be alone ag-"_

Bartz had knelt down and grabbed her forcefully by the shoulders, staring into her eyes with a gaze of fierce fire.

 _"Faris, listen to me. I promise you, I won't ever let you be left alone again. I'll stay at your side my entire life if you'll have me."_

* * *

"...Liar," Faris mutters under her breath as she squints into the sunlight.

* * *

Faris finds herself in the Tule pub. It was inevitable, given that she's run out of alcohol. She's brought her entourage with her; they're good for making distractions and she desperately needs distracting. The pub owner doesn't mind the ruckus they're making; they may be pirates, but they always pay every gil they owe, a bad habit drilled into them after Faris picked it up from Galuf.

Her lip twitches when one of her crew sits down at the piano and begins to play a simple melody, one to which the rest of the men immediately begin singing the chorus to.

Farus remembers Bartz sitting on that exact bench, practically assaulting the piano as he hammered out a tone-deaf combination of notes that had made even her drunkest of crew members wince. In retrospect, it was inconceivable that Bartz had somehow managed to gain as much mastery over the instrument as he did; the piano had practically breathed and thrummed like a living thing under his skillful fingers (Faris had by then come to know all about _those_ ) towards the end of their quest. There hadn't been a dry set of eyes in that pub in Moore when he had finished playing, hers included. Naturally, he had teased her about it, but Bartz was allowed to do this; it was one of many privileges that she gave only to him.

Faris scowls, and stands up with enough force to knock her chair over. Never mind that the bloke's playing better than Bartz had on that specific piano, she's not having any of it.

She storms up to the poor man and grabs him by the shoulder. He looks up at her, prepared to pick a fight, but immediately understands how terrible an idea that would be upon seeing who she is. Faris throws him away from the piano.

"Don't play the damn thing if you can't do it well!" she shouts loudly. The bar goes abruptly silent, all eyes fixated on her. Faris growls, then marches out of the pub to take a walk and cool her head.

The quiet lingers behind her for a few moments before a pirate ventures to make a comment.

"Say, didn't that Bartz fellow..."

His companion nods. "Aye, he was right good at playin' the ivories, that he was."

The others murmur among themselves. Captain Faris had been in bad temper ever since she had returned to them, and the reason for it had become clear once they had heard of the memorial statue raised in the Tycoon Palace courtyard that commemorated the lost Warrior of Light. Not a one of them is foolish enough to talk to her about it, though.

* * *

The piano is now in a corner of her cabin. It's a captain's cabin, after all, so there's room enough for it, and who the hell was going to stop her from taking it? No one would have dared even before she became a Warrior of Light, and they certainly didn't when she returned for it earlier that afternoon.

She's not sure why she did it. She has no intention of playing the blasted thing, though Bartz had given her lessons. She knows that any attempt at it would make her feel the stinging bareness of her hands without his resting over them, guiding them from note to note. And Bartz himself was...

 _Bartz is gone,_ she forces herself to think. _He won't ever play it again._

There was a time when Faris had thought this pirate ship her home. But not anymore. The only things binding her to it are apathy and a vague sense of responsibility for her crew. The ship can take her most anywhere in the world, but she knows that none of those places could be her home.

Tycoon Castle had been her home once, when she was a small child, but she can't remember what that was like. It is certainly no longer her home now. The life of a princess is long behind her. It had taken her all but a week to run away from that stifling place; how Lena thrives in such an environment is beyond Faris.

She collapses onto her bed, having drunk more rum than most of the men in her crew can handle. She passes out, and is enfolded in the merciful grasp of sleep.

* * *

She wakes up in a panic, thrashing about before dazedly realizing that she is awake. Faris struggles to control her breathing. It had been a nightmare, but the reality wasn't much better. She had dreamt of Bartz's final moments. He had taken the full force of Exdeath's final attack by shielding Faris, Lena, and Krile, and he had spent the last of his power in helping them push back the Void. The light had faded from his eyes, and he had drifted away, ever too slightly distant from Faris for her frantically reaching hands to grab hold of him.

He had smiled that damnable smile of his as he fell away, that smile that she had despised before she fell for him, and whispered three words, followed by her name. Faris could only scream his, pleading wordlessly and desperately for him to return.

Faris is terrified that Bartz has ceased to exist inside that infinite darkness. It would be different if he were to simply be dead; then, at least she could count on seeing him again in whatever poorly-defined afterlife Galuf was waiting for them in.

She remembers what it is like to not exist, and it is not pleasant.

* * *

 _The journey through the Interdimensional Rift had been fraught with peril, but accidentally stumbling upon Omega had been a danger in a league of its own. The group's battle with the ancient weapon had been unlike any other, perilous even moreso than their fight against Exdeath in his castle. Omega was a seemingly impossible existence of unnatural power, and many times during the battle Faris had thought that each of the Warriors of Light would be killed. However, by luck it seemed, they were managing to hold out._

 _Then the monstrosity had inflicted some vile curse, whether magical or mechanical in nature, on their party. Krile had been struck first, and had vanished without a trace, alongside any recollection of her that her friends had held. It was a curious thing to remember this instance, for Faris cannot remember the moment that her memory was wiped; she simply knows in retrospect that it had been altered. Lena was taken next, and Faris felt something had broken inside of her; something vital was missing but she had no idea what it was. She threw herself at Omega in a fury, but when the circle appeared over her own head, she looked to Bartz in fear. She stretched out her hand to him, and then a moment later forgot that she herself existed._

* * *

 _When she came to, the chasm they had been walking through had a massive crater blown into its floor. It was a bizarre thing, to suddenly remember that one existed. Omega was nowhere to be found. Faris looked down and found that Lena and Krile were next to her, unconscious, but alive. Her relief at Lena's return was short-lived though, as her eyes fell on Bartz, who was slouched against a wall. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to rush over and sweep her into his arms, but it was clear that he couldn't move, and he was covered in both blood and burns. Faris felt her heart constrict in her chest, and she sprinted over to him. Lena and Krile groggily awoke to her panicked shouts, and they too exhibited similar haste in rushing to Bartz's aid._

 _Lena, the most gifted healer in the group, was using the power of the White Mage crystal shard for all it was worth, while Faris frantically used the Red Mage's weaker shard to do what she could. Krile, the clever girl, had used the Time Mage's shard to hasten the passage of time for their magic while slowing the passing of time for Bartz herself._

 _All to no avail. It was just like the time with Galuf. Neither magic nor medicine could save Bartz's life._

 _But unlike that time, they had Phoenix. Lena pulled out the Summoner's shard, and called forth the spirit of her beloved Hiryuu. With a crackling roar his flames entered into Bartz's body, and slowly, but surely, the spark of life rekindled within him as his most terrible wounds closed up. Though he didn't wake up, Bartz's breathing and heartbeat became level, and the bleeding had all but stopped. Faris had forced back a sob of relief; Bartz wasn't out of the woods yet, and would be done for if they were attacked by enemies now._

 _Later, once they had reached a haven, Bartz related sheepishly that he had lost control of himself when Faris was encircled. Although he had lost all memory of her, he had known for certain that the most important person in his life had just been brutally carved out of it, and he had blindly raged against Omega, striking it again and again in a frenzy of lightning-cloaked blades. Omega had fought back with all its immeasurable strength, inflicting wounds upon Bartz that should have killed him, but still the man had not gone down. Finally, he broke through Omega's thick shell of steel, overloading the core within. The explosion that resulted from its death had created the crater the three girls had woken up in and had flung Bartz into the wall._

 _They had set up camp in a bizarre library inside the Rift (Lena suspected it was part of the Library of the Ancients that Exdeath had swallowed up with the Void). Apanda aside, it was most likely the safest place they could find for Bartz's recovery. He was responding well to healing magic now, but he still had a ways to go before he would be in fighting shape once more. Lena and Krile were currently asleep in a corner, resting between healing sessions. While normally Bartz would have refused to take the room's lone bed from the girls in such a situation, his current condition gave him little say in the matter. He lay in it, Faris sitting with him._

 _"I love you, you know," Bartz said. His head was resting on Faris's lap as she ran her fingers through his hair, as if reassuring herself that he was still there._

 _She smiled. "Aye, I know. You tell me oft enough that I'm sure Lena and Krile are sick of hearin' it."_

 _He grinned. "But you aren't?"_

 _She chuckled. "Only a fool would be complainin' about havin' their beloved say that to 'em."_

 _He raised his eyebrow. "Beloved, huh? I don't get to hear that sort of talk from you often. I quite like it."_

 _Bartz had expected her to have a retort, but to his surprise she was looking away from him and blushing heavily._

 _"What is it?" he asked._

 _"Y-You remember what you said earlier? About me... About me bein' the most important person in your life?"_

 _He nodded. "Of course."_

 _She gave him a sideways look. "Well, you're mine. And that isn't somethin' someone like me can be sayin' easy-like, so you had best be rememberin' it, understand?"_

 _He blinked, then grinned even wider. "And here I was, worried that I would never be able to overtake Lena."_

 _Faris smiled and pulled on his cheek. "Don't be thinkin' I can't demote you back to second place, you hear? And don't even be dreamin' of pulling another stunt like the one you just did."_

 _"No promises."_

* * *

Faris walks restlessly along her hideout's pier; she hasn't been able to return to sleep after waking up like that. She stares at the pale moon.

There is a clacking of talons on wooded boards, and Boko rubs up against her, pushing his head into the crook of her arm as he keens softly.

"...Aye, I miss him too, lad."

Faris is not in the habit of making admissions like that, even to birds. Not even to herself. To admit that she misses him is to accept that he is gone, and she's not ready for that.

If she does that, she fears that her fire will die out for good.

* * *

She remembers their first kiss, the night after Exdeath swallowed up Lix with the Void. He had been there for her before, and now she wanted to be there for him. She had found him leaning against a railing and staring into the starry sky. He didn't turn to acknowledge her presence.

 _"...I've feel like I've lost everything now. Mom, Dad, the people I grew up with... They're all gone, now."_

 _"...You still have me,"_ Faris said quietly. She steeled herself. _"...And that won't ever change."_

Bartz looked up in surprise.

She gulped as she approached him. "That is, if you'd have me." The gap between them was dangerously short now. Bartz looked at her searchingly, trying to be sure that he hadn't misread any signals. Faris decided to give the most obvious one, and leaned in, pressing her lips against his. His eyes widened in shock, but then, after a moment, he held her in a tight grasp and reciprocated ravenously. When their mouths finally broke apart, both breathing heavily, he began to laugh.

 _"What? What's so funny?"_

He smiled. " _It's just... Am I allowed to be this happy in the middle of being this sad?"_

Faris smiled as well, nuzzing her head into the crook of his neck. _"Who's gonna stop you? I'd like to see anyone try and keep me from makin' you happy. After all, it's the least I can do after how happy you've made me."_ He chuckled and rested his chin on top of her head, swaying back and forth with her in a long-awaited, stationary dance.

* * *

She almost doesn't accept the invitation. She has no interest in traveling halfway around the world for an anniversary reunion when she can quietly mourn just fine from where she is right here. But, it's Lena, and Faris _would_ travel halfway around the world just to see her smile. She tells her crew to mind themselves and Boko and Koko's hatchlings, then takes Boko on a long trip to the Guardian Tree.

She's glad to see her sister, she truly is. Just the knowledge that Lena was still out there had given Faris much-needed strength to continue on. She's as radiant as a princess should be. Krile is growing into a fine young princess herself, though she still carries an air of irreverence about her. The three sit near the roots of the tree for some time, discussing the events of the past year. Faris says little, only answering when directly spoken to.

There's a lull in the conversation, and Faris's ears perk up at a strange sound.

"What's that noise?" Lena wonders. "Is it the babbling of water?"

Krile tilts her head. "The sound of the earth settling?"

Faris's eyes go wide. "No... It's the sound of the wind blowing!"

A ray of light suddenly appears from the sky, and flowers instantly bloom around them. Faris looks around in a daze; she's seen this imagery in her dreams before. And if the pattern holds true...

She looks up, and her eyes involuntarily water. If this is a dream, Faris prays that she never wakes up.

Bartz is descending from the ray of light, and touches down some ten feet away from them. The light lingers for a moment, then disappears, but Bartz is still there.

A beat passes, then Faris is running. Bartz sits up just in time to be bowled over as Faris practically tackles him.

"Faris?" he asks in confusion. "Is it really you? Am I dreaming here?"

"I should be the one askin' that!" she shouts, tears streaming down her face. "You're gone for a year and then you just show up like nothin' happened?! What the hell took you so long, you idiot?!"

There's no bite in her words, of course; she's so overwhelmed with joy that she can't even properly register it. Bartz grins, and puts his arms around her. Fairs clings to Bartz tightly, sobbing into his shoulder as he strokes her hair, and she doesn't give a damn who sees.

"Is this the Guardian Tree?" he asks after kissing the top of Faris's head. "Where are we?"

Faris's reply is more statement than answer.

 _"You're home."_


End file.
